Step Father VS Varmints

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Ghost
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Step Father VS Varmints

Postby Ghost » Wed Apr 11, 2007 11:56 am

Thought this belonged here instead of the other one after I posted it.

So, apparently, last night at my mothers home, she and my step father were rousted from their sleep at around midnight by the furious barking of the dog. This is nothing new, they live in the country on a farm and often opossums ('possums!) will sneak onto the back porch (through the cat door) and steal cat food and smoke and snarl and do whatever possums normally do.

My step father, who we'll call Mike as that is his name, flips on the porch light to see that his suspicions are correct and a possum is indeed eating the cat's food. So, since his home is under attack from bandits, he grabs up his rifle to eliminate the problem. The cat, who makes his home on the porch, is no where to seen as his things are messed about and stolen by these tree dwelling scofflaws.

In a matter of seconds the possum has been cornered and fired upon. It's an instant kill and Mike is moving in to remove the creature when he catches a glimpse of another possum sneaking its way onto the porch! With the first one in his death throes (slinging blood about one hopes) Mike turns his attention to the other target. He hits it, but it isn't a killshot this time. He goes to fire again. Click. The animal falls and tries to retreat.

My parent's home is under construction and the porch is now only about 1/3rd of it's original size and this small space is crammed with various things that have been removed from the laundry room (washing machine and dryer included) so it's not easy to get a clear shot.

What would be easy, however, if you were a possum, would be hiding amongst all of this clutter. This was exactly what a third beast (!) had been doing before the shoot out and was now charging my ammo-less step father in his moment of vulnerability.

The only choice at this point was to leap from the porch (about 5 or 6 feet up) or stand his ground and Mike, being in the neighborhood of 60, chose to stand his ground and, hilariously, clubbed his attacker to death with the rifle. This was, sadly, not before rending it something awful in his frantic thrashing to avoid a, no doubt, rabies infested bite on the leg.

He rushed back in the house to reload before returning to the scene and eliminating the injured possum out on the lawn. My mom, watching from the kitchen, was doubled over in laugher throughout the whole ordeal. She said they were like zombies coming out of the forest after him. Too bad I missed it.
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MT
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Postby MT » Wed Apr 11, 2007 12:01 pm

i thought possums were supposed to play dead when confronted, which means maybe they are currently re-grouping for another attack.
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Ghost
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Postby Ghost » Wed Apr 11, 2007 12:02 pm

Their home is constantly under attack by possums. It's the strangest thing. You'd think that with all of the construction they'd lay off for a minute, but nope, they come out in force.

If they were just in the yard it wouldn't be a problem, but they're up on the porch eating food and menacing the cat.
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MT
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Postby MT » Wed Apr 11, 2007 12:06 pm

you'd think they'd get rid of the doggy door. i'd take this time to get creative. a few years back we had a troublesome group of animals that we had to get rid of. one plan involved burying each other in the sand with food in one hand and a combat knife in the other. it snowballed from there.
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Ghost
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Postby Ghost » Wed Apr 11, 2007 12:08 pm

How would the cat get onto the porch without the door? They can't lose it.
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dropshipbob
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Postby dropshipbob » Wed Apr 11, 2007 12:10 pm

I seen plenty of possums, and I have never seen one play dead. I've seen them cornered and just sit there even while being nipped at by an angry Jack Russel terrier, but that's about it. I think they are too stupid to do much else. That, or they think that if the stand still long enough, you'll forget they are there?

Hilarious story Ghost, and very violent. 3 on 1, what were they (not) thinking?
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Ghost
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Postby Ghost » Wed Apr 11, 2007 12:14 pm

dropshipbob wrote:I seen plenty of possums...


Uproarious.
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dropshipbob
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Postby dropshipbob » Wed Apr 11, 2007 12:15 pm

I just saw that, unintentional!

Although I do have a shotgun and have been known to sit on the front porch with it.
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Postby Ghost » Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:07 pm

Updated information!

The one that charged him had already been shot once! He had to brain it with his gun in order to kill it.
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dropshipbob
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Postby dropshipbob » Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:13 pm

The carnage, the horror!

NIGHT OF THE O-POSSUMS!
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Chairman Kaga
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Postby Chairman Kaga » Wed Apr 11, 2007 7:20 pm

About halfway through I expected the cat to become a victim of friendly fire.
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MT
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Postby MT » Wed Apr 11, 2007 9:06 pm

is your cat black? if so, he's just begging for it.
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Ghost
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Postby Ghost » Thu Apr 12, 2007 8:28 am

He certainly is not!
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dropshipbob
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Postby dropshipbob » Thu Apr 12, 2007 9:38 am

MT wrote:you'd think they'd get rid of the doggy door. i'd take this time to get creative. a few years back we had a troublesome group of animals that we had to get rid of. one plan involved burying each other in the sand with food in one hand and a combat knife in the other. it snowballed from there.


I like the sound of this.
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MT
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Postby MT » Thu Apr 12, 2007 12:37 pm

in the end it was just useless cruelty.

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