The sequel EVERYONE was asking for!

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J. Spiffyman
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The sequel EVERYONE was asking for!

Postby J. Spiffyman » Sat Nov 21, 2009 7:42 am

This one was some weird combination between Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, and Mighty Ducks 2. There’s some party on the roof of a Gotham City skyscraper, and Bruce Wayne’s living it up like he always does. Meanwhile, on the other side of town, the Joker is driving around in a giant black sedan across the rooftops of Gotham with about a dozen ninja mooks from the first movie stuffed inside the car. Apparently the sedan has the Tumber’s jumping powers now. He gets out and starts wandering around some abandoned skyscraper, rambling and laughing like the Joker we know and love (a shame I can’t remember what he said). Then the fake-Batman police show up and start having a firefight with the ninjas, who for some reason suck and only have guns now. Joker bails and gets in the car, and the ninjas are complaining that there’s not enough room to fit them all in now. One gets left behind and is gunned down.

Somehow the Joker’s sedan drives across enough rooftops to crash Bruce Wayne’s party, and drives into that one fountain Bruce went swimming in in the first movie. It turns out that Joker has secretly laced Gotham’s water supply with an easy-to-get radioactive agent, except it wasn’t radioactive until he turned on the microwave emitter, which also now has the side effect of making all water in the city electrified, except it won’t electrocute you if you drink it; it just gives you radiation sickness.

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, the Mighty Ducks hockey team is meeting their new teammates, and they all hate the new guys. To promote team spirit, Coach Whoever has them play 9 vs. 9, except the new guys can’t lift their sticks off the ice. They’re pretty resentful about that. Suddenly some terrorists bust into the ice arena, and Ra’s Al Ghul starts monologing about Gotham’s time being spent. I yell at him to, and I quote, “Shut up! Shut up and just press the button, or else we will stop you!” He gets rather miffed at that, and has me shoved out of the arena.

As punishment for my insubordination, some bad girl working for him shoves me into a European car (made such by the steering wheel position), ties me to the passenger seat, then fills my side of the car with a mountain of lettuce. Supposedly the logic is that she’ll drive into a mall and start causing rampant destruction, and when she finally gets pulled over the cop with think I was the one driving, because I’m in the American driver’s seat and the pile of lettuce over me obscures the fact that there’s no steering wheel there.

I forget exactly what happens after that, but the bad girl gets caught by a bunch of cops driving the Tumbler, and yet I still get charged with 20 hours of reckless driving because dream-logic works like that.

I need to stop remembering the insignificant details of my dreams. These explanations are getting far too long.

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