Just Fell To My Death… Again!

August 14th, 2007 by exolstice

Okay, so we’re on our fourth, maybe fifth generation of consoles now right? Cutting edge technology and hardware allowing developers to create incredible worlds and amazingly intelligent AI is almost common place these days. Now that we cleared that up, how come I still have to play through annoying as hell platform jumping sequences in certain games?

Let’s get with the program here people, they weren’t fun back then, and they still aren’t fun now. Moving platforms were invented so that players would die early and often in the old days when a cartridge could only hold 5 levels, thus making the gameplay longer. I don’t want to platform jump anymore!

Besides, who the hell puts moving platforms in their castles, space stations, and/or dungeons? I mean seriously, how is this good interior design? Let’s say you’re an evil wizard mastermind who’s had a tough day at work, you come home with your arms full of groceries and a couple of doomsday devices, the last thing you want to do is make timed jumps all the way to the fridge. Even if you’re the most badass villain in the history of villainy, chances are you’ll slip eventually. You’ll get up in the middle of the night to pee, forget to turn on the light, miss a jump, and fall to your death.

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