Warriors of the Wasteland

October 12th, 2007 by KSC

warriorswastleand

Some of us take some pretty big dives when purchasing DVDs. Far too large a percentage of my collection sits around collecting dust. Upon the initial viewing there isn’t just cause to revisit them. It also happens that the majority of these bombs were pricey imports I had no business blindly buying in the first place. Consider me impulsive.

So why put fourth effort reviewing films that require nothing more than the change under your floor mats of your car? I mean, can you really regret shelling out one dollar no matter how bad it turns out? It’s probably more relevant giving the scoop on Japanese Super Sonic Special Platinum Editions taunting flashy jewel case art and snazzy “exclusive” prizes you certainly don’t need yet are compelled to own, right? Well, coupled with being poor, having no cable, my only credit card (with a balance) being from Walmart, and the distinct urge to spread myself over the internet in as many ways as possible, I’d say the planets couldn’t be more aligned.

Warriors of the Wasteland (A.K.A. The New Barbarians, A.K.A. 2019, I Nuovi Barbari) is complete trash. Of course many a film buff will tell you that trash does not necessarily equal bad. In most cases quite the contrary. I’m pleased to report this particular “trash” is amazing.

Warriors takes place in a post apocalyptic future where a homosexual street gang scour the wasteland on dirt bikes and dune buggies in their quest to eliminate all mankind. Chances are I could stop at this point as you’ve either clicked back or you’re already on your way to Walmart. I’ll assume you aren’t so hasty and continue.

The Templers as they call themselves look like something in-between a Stormtrooper, the hockey players from Elsinore Brewery, and disco queens. Their Leader, One, determined to extinguish all remaining survivors of the nuclear holocaust has his eye set on revenge. He means to punish a “dead world” for all the wrongs it has incurred. Of course his mission will not go unfettered.

Movies have told us that for every ruthless gang hellbent on total annihilation there’s a protagonist to step in their way. Enter Scorpion. A loner and classic anti-hero who hits the streets hard in a late 70’s GTO strapped with the latest in vacuum hose turbo charging. Along with his 10 year-old mechanic, scantily clad rescued damsel, and reluctant bow and expoding tipped arrow wielding partner, Scorpion means to stop One and his cohorts at all costs.

Lasers, cod pieces, golf carts equipped with whirring saw blades, poor acting, laughable dubbing, full on synth score (Argento and Dawn of the Dead fans keep your ears open) only scratch the surface of greatness here. Leave it to the Italians to deliver such a gem.

Truth be told (barring a King Size Twix bar) this could quite possibly be the best dollar I’ve ever spent.

Rating: $1.00

Worth every penny. Hell, I would have paid five!

Posted in Movie Reviews

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